As I sit relaxed in my bed in the early evening on a Monday night, I am trying to wrap my head around the idea that I do not have to go to work tomorrow! At nearly 38 weeks gestation, I feel pretty good. Any discomforts I feel are not directly pregnancy related. :) Some would argue that fatigue is related to the pregnancy, but I'd argue that it has more to do with working 32 hours in 3 days, followed by a 2+ hour meeting at church then to have included sleep interruptions from Abi and Mikayla thru the night. It is a tough one when they interrupt my sleep during work weekends. I have a tough time grappling with the Mommy-guilt: I really, really need my sleep in order to do my job safely, effectively, and to the best of my ability, but I don't blame the girls for wanting a little extra snuggle time with me... even if it means the middle of the night. When I work the weekends, I have a few minutes with them on Friday morning, a few minutes on Saturday morning, and a few minutes on Sunday morning then not usually again until Sunday afternoon. And truth be told, I like their snuggles as well... I just wish it didn't wake me up at the 'wrong times' of my sleep cycle! :) Is that SO much to ask? :)
My first official day of maternity leave was not the ideal, productive one that I had hoped for. Mikayla wasn't in the greatest of moods today... She wasn't being a '_bad_ child, just not really being a good one either. She was testing her boundaries, being a little 'fresh', and definitely testing my patience! That being said, she also was cute too... "Mommy, Happy Valentine's Day" or "I love you Mommy" for no reason in particular. And perhaps the best gift to the day was when I talked her into bed and said "Goodnight. I love you." She looked at me and said "Love you Mommy. See you in the morning." and she's right. I do get to see her in the morning... I get to spend all day with her... I get to take her to the library... I get to snuggle her... I get to be her Mommy, here.
Since tomorrow is a new day as each tomorrow is, I hope to be able to do some of the things on the to-do list, but if I don't... I know that I will have been able to cuddle with Mikayla and enjoy these moments. And to do the same with Abi when she gets home from school. I truly AM a very lucky girl.
No comments:
Post a Comment